The Gundam Pilots According to Shakespeare
by Nightheart
Summary: Two part set, a little PWP...a combination of humor and seriousness, and ocourse, shakespeare.
1. Conflict in the Classroom

Scene:  
St. Gabriel Intitute of Higher Learning.  
Classroom 322-A  
Tuesday, 4:04 pm   
  
The first day of school was always a highly anticipated event (or a dreaded one) depending on your veiwpoint, and this first day was no different. The current class was Survey of British Literature 101. There were several unique and special personalities attending this class, including all five of the Gundam pilots.  
  
Relena Peacecraft was attending the institute to get her degree in Politics and Social Sciences. Dorothy was attending also, seeking her certificate as a fencing instructor (they had two of the top fencing instructors in the country teaching at their school).  
  
Oddly enough, all five of the Gundam Pilots (for whatever reason) were attending the same institute. They all now shared a Survey of British Literature class.   
  
The class was set with three large tables in a "U" shape, like a giant squared-off horseshoe. There was the teachers desk directly in front of the tables and a window to one side. The entrance to the class room was on the wall behind the teachers desk, slightly off to the right. Three minutes before the bell rang the class was nearly full.   
  
Smack in the middle of the center table sat Quatre Raberba Winner. To his right sat Trowa Barton, to his left a row of four girls engaged in debate over the stance taken by President Susanna Luchenko on the Sheridan affair. Half of them felt he should have gotten a medal and the other half beleived he should have been shot.  
  
Three seats from the end on the right side sat Chang Wufei, taking classes in his spare time because of a renewed interst in scholorly pursuits. There were two boys seated on either side of him. Beyond those two boys sat Relena Peacecraft, who was pluged into her mini-discman listening to music and busily engaged in writing out the speech for a political function she had to attend that night and wasn't paying any attention to anything else. Next to her sat Dorothy Catalonia smiling her smug, superior little smile and taking in the room with the air of a cat waiting to pounce.   
  
Far over on the left side of the table, hidden in the shadowyest, most remote corner that could be found, sat Heero Yuy, typing away at his laptop and ignoring everybody as ususal. Duo Maxwell rushed in just ahead of the bell, breathing heavily most probably from running to keep form being late on the first day. He looked around and took the empty seat next to Heero (Heero had been scaring people away all morning with that death glare of his.)  
  
"Oi heero!" Duo greeted with his usual cheer. "I didn't know you were taking classes here, that's kinda funny that we should all get the same English class. I knew Wufei, Quatre and Dorothy were taking classes, but I'd heard that Relena was too busy to attend. Or maybe she just followed you here again!" He said, laughing at his own cleverness. "It wouldn't be the first time!"  
  
Heero refused to dignify that comment with a response.  
  
"Good afternoon class," said miss Bristol, the Brit. Lit. proffesor. "I, as many of you have probably already surmised, am your professor. We are all here to better ourselves and broaden our horizons-"  
  
At this point Wufei grumbled something about injustice and being taught by a weak woman.  
  
"Ah, Mr Chang!" said Miss Bristol, all too cheerfully. "Thank you for being so kind as to volunteer."  
  
"I do not recall-" he began.  
  
"Sure you do," she said with detirmined perkiness. "You just volunteered to start off our first little activity. We're all going to get to know each other a little better. Now, I'm sure that all of you are familiar, at least in some way, with the works of William Shakespeare. All of you have heard at least one quote by him or have been exposed to his works in some form or another, be it in another class or via movies or other media. What I want you all to do is to pick a quote by Shakespeare that you feel expresses you or represents you in some way. I'm going to give you all a few moments to think it over, you can talk to your neighbor if you'd like. And Miss Dorlian, put away whatever it is your writing on and join the discussion."  
  
"Hm?" She quiried, looking up. "Oh. Right. My apologies." She obediantly put away her preliminary speech draft.  
  
"Smae goes for you Mr. Yuy," said Bristol. "Put away the laptop."  
  
Heero simply ignored her in favor of continuing whatever it was she was typing on. She shrugged, oh well...he probably wouldn't make it far in this class anyways. There would be numerous papers assigned that would require some form of self-expression. He didn't strike her as the sharing sort.  
  
"Which quote are you going to pick, Miss Relena?" asked Dorothy.  
  
"I don't know, I always liked the quote from Macbeth that goes, 'Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...creeps in this petty pace from day to day unto the last syllable of recorded time, and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury.Signifying nothing.' I always liked that quote."  
  
"Yes, it is beautiful but not very much like your normal personality. I was thinking of that one scene in Hamlet with Rosencrantz and Guildensren and Hamlet. There were a couple of lines that always seemed to stick in my head for some reason...they were originally done as a celebration about all things good in mankind, but I think I'll give them a different reading."  
  
Relena nodds, this would be good.  
  
"Aww man, I don't know no Shakespeare!" said Duo.   
  
"You might be surprised," said Heero suddenly, not looking up from his computer screen. "I've heard you quote him before, whether you knew it or not."  
  
"Whaddya mean?" Duo asked curiously, looking over at him.   
  
"You said it at the end of the last war...'alls well as ends well' that's a title of one of the comedies."  
  
"Oh. Well I'll use that one then, thanks Heero!"  
  
Heero didn't reply. So what else was new?  
  
"Hey, how much ya wanna bet Wuffie picks something from 'Taming of the Shrew'?" said Duo to Heero.   
  
Heero didn't even blink. Duo waved a hand in front of his face.  
  
"Heloo-oo, anybody home?"  
  
Heero shot him a deathglare that cuold have melted sand into glass and continued with whatever he was working on.  
  
"Attention class. That should be enough time to pick one. Remember, you have to stand from your chairs and recite. Mr Chang, you're on first."  
  
"Then what's on second?" called Duo from the left corner of the table.  
  
Wufei ignored him, stood from his chair and said  
  
"Ay! What fools these mortals be!"  
  
"Very good, now would you care to explain why you chose this particualr quote?" Miss Bristol asked archly.  
  
"Wufei is justice. Justice is Wufei. All others who do not have justice are weak! Weak! And foolish, for they do not have the integrity to command justice."  
  
Miss Bristol sighed and massaged her temple with one hand.  
  
"There's one in every class," she muttered. "Moving on...Quatre Winner, you will go next."  
  
"Thank you Ma'am," he said, standing up. "For my qoute I chose a sonnet called, rather unimaginatively, Sonnet Number Four.   
Music to hear, why hear'st thou music sadly?  
Sweets with sweets war not, joy delights in joy:  
Why lov'st thou that which thou receiv'st not gladly,  
Or else receiv'st with pleasure thine annoy?  
If the true concord of well-tuned sounds,  
By unions married, do offend thine ear,  
They do but sweetly chide thee, who confounds  
In singleness the parts that thou shouldst bear.   
Mark how one string, sweet husband to another,  
Strikes each in each by mutual ordering;  
Resembling sire and child and happy mother,  
Who, all in one, one pleasing note do sing:  
Whose speechless song being many, seeming one,  
Sings this to thee: 'Thou single wilt prove none.'  
  
"That was lovely, Quatre. Would you care to explain why you chose it?"  
  
"Well," he said consideringly. "I like music alot, and this poem had music as part of its main theme, no pun intended. That and it remeinded me of someone."  
  
And only the very quick saw his eyes flicker to Dorothy, who sat lounging in her cair looking for all the world like an amused lioness.  
  
"Ah, an excellent recitation," said miss Bristol, beaming at him approvingly. "Next up, Trowa Barton."  
  
Trowa stood up, hid face habitually hooded behind his unusual hairstyle. In his quiet voice he said  
To be, or not to be: that is the question:  
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer  
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,  
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,  
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;  
No more; and by a sleep to say we end  
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks  
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation  
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;  
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;  
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come  
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil.  
  
Those who knew him well nearly died of shock. He was usually a man of very few words.  
  
"An interesting selection Mr. Barton...what is it about that peice that moves you so?"  
  
"Because I think it is a question we all struggle with from time to time. Wheather or not it is easier to give up and seek the final ending or keep going and see what else we can do."   
  
Trowa was thinking of one time in particular whan he had wanted it all to end. Only his sister had stopped him, and later it turned out for the better that she had.  
  
"Very insightful Mr. Barton, now I think we can all afford to take a break. Class resumes in five minutes."  
  
No one really went anywhere, most simply turned to their neighbors and started talking. Relena hauled her speech back out and Dorothy read over her shoulder and remarked  
  
"Miss Relena, I find it most out of charactor that you have not so much as said hello to Heero, or any of the others for that matter."  
  
"I will later, I'm busy right now," she replied.  
  
"that's all well and good, but I think that Duo Maxwell is talking about you to that crowd of students over there in the corner."  
  
"I am aware of the situation Dorothy. Let it be."  
  
Duo was looking at Heero saying  
"I'd be willing to bet Relena picks something from that sappy romance 'Romeo and Juliet' and aims it not-so-subtly at you."  
  
He then began doing an outrageous parody of the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet pitching his voice really high-pitched and breathy.  
  
"Romeo, Romeo, Wherefore art thou Romeo?"  
  
He did a wicked mimic of Relena's voice, even going to the extent of cupping his hands around his mouth. The students nearby began busting up laughing. Duo looked pleased to finally be the center of attention.  
  
Duo continued the lines making exagerated clutches at his chest and flinging one arm out while batting his eyelashes.  
  
Across the room, Relena's eyes narrowed in anger.  
  
"Of course you know, this means war!" She murmured to herself. Her hands were curled into fists in anger. Abruptly, she knew what she was going to do to him for making fun of her, two could play at that game.  
  
"Break times over folks," called the instructor. "Up next Lisa Brown."  
  
A light brown haired girl next to Quatre stood up and recited a line from King Lear. Then the girl next to her went, and the boy next to her and so on and so forth until the only ones left who hadn't said their lines were Dorothy, Heero and Relena.  
  
"Mr Yuy, you may go next."  
  
Heero glanced up from his laptop. And then stood.  
  
"To thine own self be true," he said and sat down.  
  
"Okay, now you have to explain why you chose that qoute," said the teacher patiently.  
  
"Self explanatory." He began typing again.  
  
For some reason the teacher let that one slide. Something told her not to press her luck with this young man.  
  
"Miss Dorothy," she prompted.  
  
Dorothy stood and started her qoute in a voice the simply ooozed scorn and sarcasm. Her very demenor, irony at its best.  
  
What a piece of work is a man!" she said sacastically.   
"How noble in reason!  
how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how  
express and admirable! in action how like an angel!  
in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the  
world! the paragon of animals!" That last sentence was loaded with all the sarcasm she could muster. And she could muster quite a lot.  
  
"That was...interesting. I've never heard it read quite that way before, may I ask why you chose that particular peice?"  
  
"Because, man is a fighting animal."  
  
Relena groaned. "Not this again!" Dorothy smiled.  
  
"I read it with sarcasm because I wished to point out the irony of man's condition. That we think ourselves so much better than every other living creature on this planet, a paragon if you will. And yet we do horrible things to others of our race based on our own petty differences."  
  
It sounded to quatre like a little of Miss Relena was rubbing off on dorothy. Perhaps there was hope for her after all.  
  
"miss Darlian, you're the last."  
  
At this point Duo made a smart ass remark about the Romeo and Juliet thing again and those around him snickered. (Except for Heero once again, but Duo didn't really expect any kind of reply.)  
  
Relena rose to her feet, with ponderous dignity. But instead of remaining in one place as all the others had she walked slowly across the room, planting each foot firmly on the floor at every step, making a loud clicking noise. Each movement was deliberate, and she was smiling, but somehow the smile seemed more feral than friendly. She was headed over to the corner where Heero sat near Duo.  
  
When she arrived at the table Duo rolled his eyes, thinking he was correct. She really was going to do the bacony scene! How blunt could this girl get?!  
  
However, when she got down to one knee and put on her very best 'I'm soo in love' feather headed look, she was staring not at heero, but at Duo! Her eyes wide and luminous with mock-devotion were batting at him, her voice and tone were sweet enough to have spun sugar and she clasped her hands next to her face a-la Dorothy as she began her swooning proclamaition of love.  
  
"Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed,  
While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,  
And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,  
And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy."  
  
And here she flung one arm out to the side, her voice filled with syrupy sweetness. By now the class had caught on that she was making fun of him. They were grinning, watching the show in respectful silence.  
What, wilt thou hear some music,  
my sweet love?  
  
She turned up the sickening sweetnes another notch, fluttering her eylashes against her face. Duo didn't quite know what he was supposed to do and got the strange feeling that their dear, their highly esteemed Princess Relena had a streak of sadism in her, for she appeared to be privatly enjoying watching him squirm.  
  
So doth the woodbine the sweet honeysuckle  
Gently entwist; the female ivy so  
Enrings the barky fingers of the elm.  
O, how I love thee! how I dote on thee!  
  
And here she pertended to fall asleep, then made a big production of waking up. As she walked back over to her seat, in the middle of the room, she dilivered the punchline.  
  
In a soft yet carrying voice, one that had reached to backs of audience chambers around the world and space, she miled deviously and said  
  
"what visions have I seen!  
Methought I was enamour'd of an ass!"  
  
The entire class burst out laughing. Some were holding their stomachs and other were clapping while they laughed. Duo for his part, took it in stride, it was his fault after all. He should not have been making fun of her...but it had been so nice to be the center of attention for a while! he'd never actually thought she would have responded in kind, just done something pacifisty, like turn the other cheek or something.  
  
"That was..." the teacher smothered a little smile. "*cough* Very nice, Miss Dorlian. Now, what does it say about /you/?"  
  
"That I'm in love with a jack ass!" she blurted out without thinking.   
  
"Oh we've all had that feeling before!" said a girl sitting to her right with dark red hair. Her friends next to her giggled.  
  
Heero had been pretending to ignore the entire fiasco in favor of typing away at his laptop, but had actually been observing it all and was puzzled about it's meaning. It had irked him something terrible when she had been looking at Duo and saying "Oh, how I love thee!" He'd felt a flash of something very dark, and very uncomfortable when she'd been speaking words of love at Duo and not at him...he wasn't entirely sure what it meant. Jealousy? He certainly had no business being jealous. For one thing, it was a distraction. Must remember to file away for future contemplation. And what was that line about her being in love with a jack ass? She couldn't seriously be talking about him!  
  
The teacher wrapped up class with a small speech about how she hoped they'd all learned something about each other and that they were to read pages 35 through 41 by next class period, there would be a discussion about the poem.  
  
They all filed slowly out of class, Dorothy headed to her fencing class, Heero to his Trigonometry class, Duo was up for chemistry (A.N. Duo around dangerous, possibly explosive chemicals...there's a scary thought indeed!) Wufei was up for his study in Ancient Civilizations, Trowa had acrobatics, Quatre was headed for the business wing and relens had to leave to go make her speech.  
  
As first days go, it wasn't bad... thought Relena as Pagan drove away.  
  
Suddenly an explosion was heard wrom the science wing of the school. She could just barely hear Duo's voice say  
  
"But it wasn't my fault!"  
  
Perhaps she had spoken too soon.   
  
THE END  
  
  
Authors Note: I own nothing. Don't sue me, I have a whopping two bucks keeping my bank account open. Actually it's not even that much, it's a doller eighty five!  
  
This story was something I came up with on the spur of the moment and decided to write down. I think it's a stand alone peice. 


	2. Truce Over Dinner

It's Not a Date  
  
this sequel just popped into my head and begged to be written, so here it is ready or not.  
  
You thought you could run, you thought you could hide, you were wrong! It *gasps and screams heard round the world* The Disclaimer! Run for your lives, run for your lives dammit! The charactors in this fic belong to a bunch of other (probably richer) people. You know who you are, unfortuneately I don't.   
  
On with the show.  
  
******************************************  
  
Relena's limo.  
3:05 pm  
  
Well, that meeting was pointless, she thought as Pagan drove her back to the dorms at school. They certainly didn't need me to tell them what they seemingly could all agree on, I wonder why they insisted that I come? They all seemed to have everything well in hand. Oh well, maybe it's a status thing. Men.  
  
Then she got to thinking about the stunt she'd pulled in English class. Poor Duo, the whole class had been laughing at him.  
  
I feel bad about that. I'll have to apoligize to him. I let my temper and my vengeance thirst get ahead of me. I know! I'll get him some apology flowers! I bet that dorm of his is pretty bare bones, some flowers would probably brighten the place right up. Daises would be perfect. They're so friendly, no one could ever mistake them as a romantic gesture, those are usually reserved for roses.  
  
"Pagan?" she called up into the front.  
  
"Yes Miss Relena?" asked the kindly old gentleman.  
  
"You could you stop off at a flower shop? I want to get some flowers."  
  
"Of course," he said. Being the discrete butler that he was, he never asked who they were for or for what, he simply found the nearest flower shop and waited outside while she went in to purchase her flowers.  
  
"Hello," said the store owner, a round asian woman with her hair done up in a bun on top of her head. "How I can help you?"  
  
"I'd like to purchase a bouquet of apology flowers for a friend. A nice collection of daisies would do the trick."  
  
"Okay, I be right back."  
  
The lady with the accent disappeared into the back and then emerged with a little boquet of thirteen daisies and some babies breath. Relena paid the woman, thanked her, and signed the little card 'my apologies for English class ~Relena.' She walked out to meet Pagan who drove her back to her dorms at school.  
  
Once there Relena asked the first person she met, where she might find a Duo Maxwell, and got directions to his dorm room. Not one to procrastinate, Relena set out to deliver the flowers and her apology at once.  
  
When she found the room number she was looking forshe knocked twice before she could loose her nerve. To her complete surprise, Heero opened the door. They must be room mates, unlikely as it sounded.   
  
"Um, excuse me but...Does Duo live here? I need to talk to him," she said simply. Heero nodded. then disappeared from the doorway. There was no force on Earth or anywhere else that was going to make her go in there. It was a supreme effort of will not to simplt bolt as it was.  
  
"Yeah?" asked Duo, poking his head out the door. "Whad'ja want? Look if its about that clas thing I-"  
  
Relena shoved the daiseis at him.   
  
"Here. These are for you," she said. I would like to apologize for my earlier behavior. I made you a laughing stock and that was very rude of me. Please, accept my daisies as a peace offering."  
  
"Aw that's okay. If anything I should be apologizing to you. I shouldn't have been making those comments about you in class. They were uncalled for. I was way out of line," he said.  
  
"But I certainly didn't have to respond in kind, I should be above such pettiness," said Relena remorsefully.  
  
"Hey, you're human too. You have the right to get angry and to defend yourself just like everyone else does."  
  
Suddenly Relena laughed.  
  
"Listen to the two of us! Neither one of us willing to let the other take the blame. But if you feel that terribly about it, I'll let you make it up to me," she informed him cheerfully. "You can take me out to lunch. I know this great little Mexican resteraunt nearby that serves the most wonderful chicken fajitas! I'm hungry and...you're buying."  
  
And with that she grabbed his arm and dragged him along with her to go on a food run.  
  
"Hoist by my own petard," he muttered following along behind her.  
  
Relena herself drove a cherry red mustang convertable with black interior. Duo whistled when he saw it.  
  
"Nice," he commented.  
  
"It's my baby," said Relena grinning proudly. "She does zero to sixty in ten and gives a ride so smooth I can put on lipstick."  
  
Duo chuckled, she sounded exactly like one of the guys bragging about the capabilities of their Gundams. They hopped inside and she drove off to wherever her little restraunt was. She wasn't too bad a driver, but you could tell she wasn't used to it.  
  
To Duo's surprise, the place she drove to wasn't some classy upscale hub, but a tiny little hole-in-the-wall resteraunt. It looked like one of those places where Duo himself would care to hang out with his friends. It certainly had no feeling of "date" about it, the atmosphere was too relaxed for that. When they walked into the little resteraunt (calling itself Taco Maria's) Relena was immediately hailed by the nearest waiter.  
  
"Hola Senorita Relena! You want your usual place?"  
  
"Yeah, Alejandro, and this is my buddy Duo," she jerked her head in Duo's direction. This was a real eye-opener, Relena was acting like a normal person. Even her tone and posture were relaxed and casual. Usually she was so formal and proper, like a starched napkin.  
  
They were shown to a table near a tiny little indoor garden of potted plans and a litle tiny fountain. The table looked kinda rickety, but the chairs all matched.  
  
Alejandro appeared a few minutes later with a menu and said to Relena  
  
"Will you be wanting your usual?"  
  
"Yeah, that'll be fine thanks. Just put the whole meal on my tab."  
  
Duo raised two eyebrow at that. For one thing, she'd said that he would be paying and for another thing, by all appearances, she ate here all the time but it hardly seemed the place for a classy girl like Relena.  
  
"I thought you said that I was paying for this," said Duo in confusion.  
  
"What, can't a girl take her own friend out to lunch? We are friends aren't we?" she looked at him so piteously that he simply had to reassure her.  
  
"Of course we are. We can grab lunch together anytime if you want."  
  
"Great! I knew you wouldn't stay mad at me," she said cheerfully.   
  
"Eh, I'm not one to hold grudges."  
  
"Let me guess," she said, smiling impishly. "You have no surviving enemies...at all."  
  
Duo chuckled, and the food was brought to them. There were two plates filled with bean paste, curry rice, lettuce, tomatoes, chicken peices fried with green peppers and two small separate bowls of sour cream and guacamole dip. off to one side was a small round covered dish filled with round, flat soft taco shells.  
  
Relena laid out one of the shells and began expertly to spread it with bean paste, which was followed by curry rice, then lettuce and tomato after that went the chicken peices, on top of that went the guacomole and finally the sour cream. She folded up the end, then roled the sides over that and took a big bite. One would not normally associate delicate little Relena with big bites, but she certainly had a healthy appetite. She was making fast work of her little taco, fajita, whatever.  
  
When she was halfway through it, she slowed down. The edge had been taken from her hunger and she began to eat and talk at leisure. Duo mimiced hir proceduere with the taco fillings, and could barely get his closed. Relena found his predicament very amusing when he began to eat his taco and half of it fell out the back end onto his plate. After he was left with a mostly empty shell, he began to get frustrated.  
  
"You should see the look on your face," she told him, laughing helplessly. He glared at her which only made her laugh harder. "oh man, this reminds me of the time I tried to go rappeling."  
  
"Rappeling? You?" Said Duo, raising an eyebrow. "This I gotta hear."  
  
"Well, it was in Rotc (pronounced rot-see) and-and I had signed up for their summer camp."  
  
"Rotsy?"  
  
"R-O-T-C," she explained.  
  
"Isn't that military?"  
  
"Yeah, it was a junior ROTC, part of middle school. I needed the credits for gym. Father never really approved if it, but... I never really liked gym, all that teamwork an' stuff. I made it all the way to Captain of supply before I resigned in protest. Anyways, at this point I was still a lowly LET-1, a private no less, when I signed up for the camp."  
  
She was telling the story in between bites of her meal. It was a real funny story.   
  
"...the top of the rappel tower in my BDU's and the atomic wedgie harness they gave us, all ready to go rappeling, and I leaned off the edge and looked down. I paniced. This sent me over the brink of the tower. Well, I did manage to catch myself like they showed me three yards from the top. There was another four stories to go to the ground. I was hanging off the end of this rope dangling from the overhang of the tower upside down like a trapeize artist and the instucter was calling up, 'Dorlian! Let GO!" I was like 'Nuh-uh!' There was /no way/, I was letting go of that stopper!"  
  
By now they were both laughing so hard they had tears running out of their eyes.  
  
"Finally, the rappeling intructor First Sergent Joshua, had to rappel down next to me and talk me down. I was fine after I got a hold of myself, but dangling upside down like some spider's lunch at the top of the tower screaming bloody murder (I was in a blind panic at this point) had earned me the nickname... Oh, man, it's too embarassing!"  
  
"What? I won't tell anyone," said Duo.  
  
"You'd better not. If you do ya better know how to sleep with one eye open!" she warned him. "Anyways, for the rest of that summer camp I was known as 'Dangling Darlian.'  
  
Both of them burst out laughing. It was hilarious, the thought of the very prim and proper Vice Foreign Minister ever having had an embarrasing nickname. It just tickled him pink.  
  
"Dangling Darlian?" he said when he finnaly got his laughter under control.   
  
Relena flushed in embarrasment. "Yeah. All through the rest of the summer camp they never let me live it down."  
  
"I can see why...I'd never imagined that you would ever be tagged with a nickname like that!"  
  
"Well, it happened. Don't die of shock or anything but...I'm actually human and i've been in my share of embarrasing situations. I'm hardly perfect, but everyone seems to think I am. That's why I really want to be your friend Duo," She said honestly. "Something tells me that you won't expect me to deliver the sun moon and stars wrapped in my hairtie. I think you may actually treat me like a genuine person."  
  
Duo was a little taken aback by her sudden stark and unvarnished honesty. It was like a splash of cold water, she was certainly not what he had expected.  
  
"Uhh...okay," he said grinning at her. "We're friends now. You seem harmless enough."  
  
"Oh I do huh," she said smiling gamely. "I see you've already forgotten the lesson you've supposedly learned from English class. I'm only /mostly/ harmless."  
  
Well at least you're not violent," he said. "Man, living with Heero is definately bad for my life expectancy. I'm never sure if he's going to just glare at me or pull out that gun of his."  
  
Relena chuckled. "Between you and me, I feel the same way sometimes."  
  
Duo raised his eyebrows in surprise. This was news to him.  
  
"Then why on Earth do you keep seeking him out if you're never quite certain he won't kill you?"  
  
"Simple. There's an old saying that goes, "claim victory in your heart and the universe will follow." I have to walk into every encounter with him assuming that I've already come out alive and will do so again. This really is the secret to my success. I walk into every meeting, every council session, every diplomatic function and every press conference assuming that I've already won. Claim victory in your heart and the universe will follow. I have to believe this because for me...Failure is not an option. Failure is never an option."  
  
"But you're still never entirely sure he won't just decide you aren't neccessary anymore and blow you away?"  
  
"Yeah, pretty much. Exciting. isn't it?" she said grinning consirationally. "So how about you?"  
  
"How about me what?"  
  
Yeah, I mean, you're his friend; probably his best friend, why do you hang out with him if your never quite sure that he won't just decide the terminate your friendship permanently?"  
  
"Ummmmmm...Deathwish?" Duo chuckled.   
  
"I was being serious silly."  
  
"Truthfully. I like the guy. It's marvelous fun just yanking his chain. I like to see how far I can push the line before he does something about it."  
  
Relena gave him a look compounded of mirth and a what-am-I-gonna-do-with-this-guy expression.  
  
"I think you and I sensed the same thing about him," continued Duo with unaccustomed sombereness. "Even if he never overtly shows any sign of affection or emotion, somewhere down in there...he cares."  
  
Relena nodded. It was true, and nothing more really needed to be said.  
  
"Well, I'm finished with dinner and it's getting late so let's head back. I'll drop you off at your dorm," said Relena.  
  
"Actually, do you think I could drive your car back?" he asked hopefully.  
  
"I don't see why not," she said agreeably.  
  
She climbed into the passenger side and fastened her seat belt. Duo climbed into the drivers side next to her, grin in place. Relena took one look at his face and immediately regretted her decision to let him drive her home. There was this glint in his eye that really worried her.  
  
He started the car and revved the engine.  
  
"Duo," she said hesitantly. "Maybe you should go- slooooooow!"  
  
Her last word was lost in the squealing of tires. He took off.  
  
Relena was thrown back in her seat and then pushed sideways by the G-forces as he took sharp turns at full throttle. He accelorated through the streets as if he were being chased by the devil. Relena was clutching the door handle for dear life as he turned onto the road that led to the school and the bumps and hills sent her flying up off her seat. She landed each time with a little squeak of fear.   
  
"Relax babe, I wouldn't let anything happen to ya," Duo reassured her.  
  
"Oh thank you, I feel so much better now. Remind me to /kill/ you when I get out!" she retorted.  
  
Duo laughed then turned sharply with a squeal of tire into the parking lot of The school. The car stopped in her reserved parking space with a bump. Duo looked over at her and bust up laughing.  
  
"You should see the look on your face."  
  
Relena's eyes were wide and she was trembling slightly in reaction. She did not look amused.  
  
"I'm never letting you drive me anywhere ever again," she informed him, her voice sounding remakably composed.  
  
"Well thanks for the grub anyways," he said, deciding to ignore he comment. "We'll have to do this again sometime!"  
  
"All except for the driving part," she told him. "I'll see you in class tomorrow."  
  
"Sure thing Lena," he said clibing out.  
  
"Lena?" she queired.  
  
"Yeah, it's your new nickname."  
  
"Oh so now I have a nickname huh."  
  
"Well if you would preffer me to call you Dangling-"  
  
"Don't you /dare/!" She told him sharply. "Lena will do fine."  
  
"Alright then. See ya 'round, Lena."  
  
She watched him retreat into his dorm wondering what she'd gotten herself into.  
  
Duo found the inside of his dorm room exactly as it allways was...all except for the vase of daises decorating the table. Heero didn't so much as glance up when he entered, which was also typical. What wasn't typical was that Heero asked  
  
"Where did you go?" The question was toneless, comepletely devoid of emotion, but it was the first time that Heero had ever inquired as to his whereabouts in the entire time they had been friends. Did this possibly mean that he might be feeling a little bit of jealousy for the time Duo spent with Relena? It certainly sounded like it. Duo grinned.  
  
"Lena and me snagged some food at her favorite mexican place. We're friends now."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Ya know. I gotta say something about the girl. She's really something else. Not quite what I was expecting, but still...I think we can be good friends. I bet Hilde'd like her. I wonder what she's doing now.Hilde, I mean"  
  
"Why don't you call her?" suggested Heero, apparently tired of the chatter now that he had recieved the neccessary information to answer his quiry.  
  
"Because there's a big time difference between here and L2. There, it's three in the morning."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"But you're right. I'd like to talk to her, I've been gone a whole week. She could be lonely up there all by herself. Maybe I could convince her to come down here for a visit. I bet she'd like the Earth, I don't think she's ever been here. I'll call her tomorrow and..." the chatter continued along that vein for a few minutes. Heero tuned it out.  
  
And he's off again, thought Heero. If anyone so much as breathes the word Hilde around him, he starts babbling like an idiot. I truly wonder just exactly how the two of them can miss what's right under their noses. Oh, well. It's not my problem. It's not even any of my concern that he and Relena have gone of on a date and-  
  
"Oh and Heero, in case you're wondering," said Duo, breaking into his thoughts. "It wasn't a date."  
  
Uncanny. It sounds like he read my mind. Well then what was it?  
  
"It wasn't a date. She just wanted to apologise to me for the thing in english class earlier today. We both now share a love of mexican food, there's this great resturaunt..." and he was off again, describing the place to him. Strange, not the kind of place he would associate with Relena.  
  
Hn. Must file away for later referencing.  
  
Duo didn't really say what they'd talked about and after a few minutes of silence he flipped on the tv and watched some idiotic cartoons about the mishaps of a rabbit and "matian." Heero would never understand the appeal.  
  
End. 


End file.
